


1.17 Projections

by khurst



Series: 160 Shades of JetC - One Ep, One Fic [16]
Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: 117 Projections, Episode: s02e03 Projections, F/M, Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-05
Updated: 2017-12-05
Packaged: 2019-02-11 02:15:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12925179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/khurst/pseuds/khurst
Summary: After the Doctor's confusing struggle with reality, Kathryn has deeply human issues on her mind.





	1.17 Projections

**Author's Note:**

> Inner chronology (stardate 48892.1) dictates that Projections takes place before The 37's (stardate 48975.1) and Initiations (stardate 49005.3), so this relationship study follows Janeway and Chakotay along the path of Voyagers inner chronology, rather that air dates.
> 
> Also, this work is as of yet, unbeta'ed, so bear with me and any mistakes you may find. I thought you waited long enough for this. (I can't believe it's been over a year!)
> 
>  
> 
> Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**October 4th, 2371**

 

“You look lost in thought. Tough reading?”

“I’m looking up the definition of a person, but that’s not really helpful.”

“For you or for the Doctor?”

“For the Doctor.” She grinned at his lame joke. “Apparently he is still struggling with reality and his true nature.”

“And you think looking up what makes a person a person will help him.”

“It was a starting point, but as I said,” she sighed and put the PADD aside, “it’s not as helpful as I thought it would be.”

“Coffee?” He asked when she leaned back in her chair and got lost in thought again.

He chuckled at her raised eyebrow and got a cup of coffee for her and a tea for himself before he sat down across from her at her desk. She took the offered cup with a thankful smile and smelled the dark liquid before taking a careful sip.

“I don’t think it’s so much about making sure this here is real.” She gestured around them, “but more about what he wants to be real. It seems that his brief taste of humanity wasn’t all too pleasant, but it left the question of “what if” that he’s struggling with.”

“You told him to have more of a life, didn’t you?”

“Yes,” she groaned, “I hadn’t anticipated this, though.”

“I heard a few more crew members talking about how they saw him trying to stick a hand or foot out the sickbay doors.” At Chakotay’s chuckle Kathryn looked up at him again.

“The Doctor had quite an adventure.” She grinned and nodded.

“At least one of us did,” Chakotay joked.

“Are you complaining about lack of danger?” Kathryn asked incredulously, frowning and grinning at the same time.

“I wouldn’t dare.” He held up his hands in surrender, causing them both to laugh.

“It seems terribly funny from the outside, but I think he’s really struggling.” Kathryn sighed after a while. “It would be easy enough for B’Elanna to repair the subroutines and delete the memory engrams. And I had half a mind to let her…”

“But?” Chakotay encouraged her to keep going.

“This isn’t simply about accepting that he is a hologram, he’s struggling with his true nature.” Kathryn shrugged, “And isn’t that something we all do eventually? Despite everything he has said, there’s a deep underlying desire to be more human and while I can’t make him more human, I’m willing to let him keep that.”

“Even though it makes his life harder?” Chakotay asked, wanting her to consider that her decision might have ramification that they might not be able to foresee yet.

“He’s come such a long way since he was first activated. He is a part of this crew and not just a computer program. Eventually he will have to make a decision not about what he is, but what he ultimately wants to be.” Kathryn cradled the half empty cup in her hands.

“It doesn’t matter where you come from, huh?” She smiled at him, glad that he understood her so well.

“What matters is who you are now.” She agreed hoping to convey that she wasn’t only talking about the Doctor anymore, but about all of them. That she was also talking about him.

Chakotay considered her words for a moment. While he wouldn’t exactly say that things had been tense between them the last couple of days, it was obvious to him that she was warily observing his behaviour. Although he still considered it necessary, he knew Kathryn had been disappointed about his fallback on Maquis behavior. She had made it clear to him that she would not accept violence as a solution on her ship and among her crew.

The way she spoke now, made him think that maybe she had found it in her heart to forgive his misstep. In the few months they had spent together, he hadn’t known her to hold a grudge. Apparently she was letting him know that he was forgiven. She also made clear, though, that she was still holding him to her high standards.

Chakotay noticed that Kathryn was still studying him, obviously waiting for a sign that he had gotten her conveyed message, so he nodded and raised his teacup to his lips. She followed suit and took another sip from her coffee, relieved that they were back on track and the air between them was cleared. She had missed their easy banter in the last few days and it was important to her that Chakotay knew she didn’t hold a grudge against him. While she wasn’t one to forget, she found it easy to forgive him.

“You know there’s a recording of the Doctor’s delusions…” Kathryn felt her lips curl against the rim of her cup when Chakotay spoke again.

“We couldn’t,” she scolded him with a disapproving frown.

“Couldn’t we?” His dimpled grin and the challenge in his eyes made it harder and harder for her to suppress her grin.

“We shouldn’t,” she clarified, one corner of her mouth starting to curl against her volition.

“Of course, we shouldn’t.” Chakotay agreed with a mock frown of his own and a curt nod.

“It’s private…” she continued half-heartedly.

Kathryn mustered Chakotay again when he drank his tea. There was a twinkle in his eyes, letting her know he didn’t seriously consider watching the Doctor’s private thoughts. It warmed her heart to see him trying to lighten the mood and cheer her up and she felt the urge to do the same for him. It felt good to have him back.

Chakotay did likewise. As he sipped his tea, he looked at Kathryn over the rim of his cup. She seemed lighter somehow than she had in the last few days. As if some slight burden was lifted from her. And it was good to see her smile. It made him feel good to think that it was because of him. It felt wonderful to know that this friendship wasn’t one sided. Her well-being was important to him and he had come to understand that it was also a prerequisite for his own. So yes, when he looked at her glowing face and her radiant smile he knew it felt good to have her back.

When she finished her coffee and didn’t get up to get another one, nor put the empty cup aside, but stared into it for long minutes, he knew something else was on her mind. Something that may also not be entirely about the Doctor. The only time he knew her to be hesitant was if things were personal for her.

“There’s something else, isn’t there?”

“Hmm?”

“You didn’t notice that you finished your coffee.” He gestured towards the empty cup in her hands, held tight like a lifeline.

“Oh.” She looked surprised that he was right with his observation.

“You can tell me anything,” He coaxed her. “I promise not to tell anyone.”

“It’s about something that Kes said…” she trailed off, seemingly lost in her own thoughts again.

“About?”

Kathryn took a deep breath before blurting out, “Companionship.”

“Companionship?” Chakotay was starting to feel like a parrot and this was like pulling teeth.

“Kes thinks the Doctor might be lonely,” she held up his hand before he could interrupt her. “Kes spends a great deal of time with him, but even so, his social interactions are severely limited.”

“He lacks companionship.” Chakotay nodded in understanding.

“And Kes thinks it may be something he desires.” Kathryn was grateful he understood the problem. “Add that to the list of human problems,” she joked.

“We’re not made for long isolation.” Chakotay kept his eyes glued to Kathryn as he spoke. “We all need companionship to thrive.”

Kathryn caught his drift and lowered her gaze towards her empty cup again, turning it around in her hands. “I wouldn’t want him to feel left out.”

“So we make sure he isn’t,” Chakotay promised, hoping she’d understand that he wasn’t only talking about the Doctor, but every member of the crew, especially her. “We invite him to social gatherings and make sure he gets among friends every once in a while.”

Kathryn dared a short glance at Chakotay when she heard his gentle tone and saw that his eyes were fixed on her and his head slightly cocked, a smile plastered to his face. She felt a grateful feeling settle in the pit of her stomach and a blush creep up her cheeks and she had to force herself to hold the eye contact as she spoke again.

“That would be nice.”

**Author's Note:**

> According to inner chronology following star dates and production numbers (where star dates are missing) our next stop is Elogium!


End file.
